After a week of driving, I am convinced that there is no other city in the world like Bakersfield, California. I mean that in all senses of the world. Below are just a few of my observations recently:
1) The standard speed limit in Baltimore is 25-30 mph on a main road and 55-65
55 miles per hour is the legal speed here.
on the highway. And that’s plenty fast. In Bako, people’s driveways empty out onto 55 mph international speedways, where every Colt Pickens or Juan Castillo is legally able to barrel down the main road with their heart’s abandon. THESE ROADS HAVE SIDEWALKS, PEOPLE. In general, I think a road with a sidewalk should have their speed limit curbed at 25 mph (Get it? ”Curbed?”), but Bako’s Dept of Transportation feels differently. Nearly every road I’ve driven on this week has been above 35 mph. So, if the Audobon’s too expensive for you, come to Bako, where drag races happen legally.
2) People in Bakersfield do not employ sarcasm as a means of gaining compliance. I think of my experience in a Target in Baltimore. I walked in and started leafing through the circular, when I accidentally bumped into someone. ”Well, excuse you,” the lady said. ”I’m sorry, ma’am,” I ventured. No response. Now, consider my experience in the Bakersfield Post Office yesterday: no less than seven people said, “Pardon me” when asking to get by (there was a long line), and one lady who bumped into me took my arm and said, “Well, I’m sorry!” in the politest Southern accent this side of the Mississippi. Sigh…
3) Citrus fruit grows on trees in peoples’ backyards here! Lemons, grapefruits, oranges!
Citrus trees are awesome.
It’s unbelievable! I feel like Augustus Gloop walking into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but instead of chocolate, I see nothing but the sweet, acidic taste of limes. Maybe it’s the east-coaster in me, but this stuff is incredible.
4) Everyone’s grass looks like golf-course grass. The chemistry required to genetically engineer grass that is 100% the same length all the way across the lawn should win somebody the National Medal of Science. You could stand right up there with G.W. Carver.
In closing, I like Bakersfield so far. More to come on Thursday (Lost is on tonight, which is going to throw my entire brain into a tizzy on Wednesday). ~Rob
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