Some Thoughts as we leave Asia

A few things inspired me to take this trip and actually two of them were movies.  After seeing Revolutionary Road, I was really scared of falling into an inescapable routine that I wasn’t ready for.  I went on this trip open to being inspired to do something totally different with my life than I had planned.  I also wanted to have done something a little daring before settling down.  And then after seeing Benjamin Button, I thought so much about how big the world was and how important it was to see more of it.  And I liked how Benjamin trusted people and I didn’t think I trusted strangers and new places enough.  My own tendency to hesitate, to plan, to fear the unknown bothered me.

So, now I ask myself, how daring was this trip?  Was it really life changing?

In some ways, I feel like it wasn’t nearly as daring as it sounds.  Figuring out how to get through countries is actually not that hard if you are patient and calm (and have the most up-to-date Lonely Planet).  Rob and I never were taken advantage of, except maybe being slightly overcharged at local vegetable markets, so strangers weren’t as scary as I expected.  And, even though the fields and nature were intimidating for me in Italy, we were careful to always bring Doto with us when we hiked and were okay…

Differences between countries and cities are not actually as great as they seem.  Everyone wants to be around friends and family.  Everyone is trying to make money and to live comfortably.  Almost everyone is willing to be helpful if you ask and almost everyone is proud of their country and happy to share it with visitors.  So, if the couple in Revolutionary Road had gone to Paris, I don’t think it wouldn’t have necessarily been as scary as he feared or as completely life-changing as she hoped.  It’s what you bring to the experience.

The differences between places and in life are in the details…the food in the markets, the way you drive, the way you greet someone, and how you eat.  Just like at home, every day is not a swirling, experience-rich adventure.  Some days are pretty much the same- you go on a walk, get a coffee, and do some reading…but, if you do those things in Vietnam, you walk among motorcycles and bikes going every which way rather than cars following signals which is interesting and different and makes you think.

So, as I grow up, I hope that I will be unafraid of trying new things, making big changes, and taking risks.  I will remind myself of this trip and of the countless new experiences I had without a plan and with little money.

But, I also hope I will remember what I missed and what I sought while on this trip…I missed my family and friends.  I missed being able to eat at home or at a familiar restaurant.  I missed reading on a comfortable couch.  I missed our apartment and neighborhood.  I like having family, friends, and routine. 

It is worth it to take a trip like this.  You realize how you are YOU even if you are in a totally different place with totally new people.  And you realize much about more who that YOU is.  What do you do when you get to a new city?  What do you do with free time?  Where do you prefer to eat?  When everything is new and open, what do you seek? 

I have loved noticing patterns in my choices and in Rob’s.  Lucky for us, we were made aware of just how compatible we are 

I also love the idea of being more aware of these choices and open to many new experiences throughout life, whether I’m in Brooklyn, Bakersfield, Baltimore, or somewhere altogether new.  I will pay more attention to the details, because I’m convinced that the small choices we make and the small moments we notice teach us and define us.

-Emily

We’re Coming Back!

See you tomorrow, America.

ps: We’re in Baltimore and New York for 2 weeks, and then off to Guatemala.  THE BLOG IS STAYING PUT!

Super Bowl Monday Morning

While the rest of America shouts, “Yippee!” for the Saints on Sunday night, Emily and I are Super Bowl Commercial-less here on Monday morning, 6am, Thailand time.  In honor of the momentous occasion, and the fact that we are missing Duke’s Packer Dip, we decided to make gigantic omelets, fried potatos, and mango smoothies.  

Also, Brad’s friend Ronna let us borrow her moto-bike while she’s out of town, so we’ve been ripping up the road.

 

Brad's pre-frosted beer mugs came in handy. Again.

 

Having a moto-bike in Bangkok is like getting the Flower-Up in Mario Bros: once you get it, you do NOT want to give it up.

Hotpot Paradise Redux

This article on Time.com features the hotpot restuarant we wrote about a few months ago, back in Beijing.  Another round of high-fives to Jordan Kanter for selecting this excellent spot.  And a renewed call for everyone reading this to cancel their dinner plans, find the nearest hotpot restaurant and high-tail it straight there (even if you’re in the DMV and experiencing a “Snowpocalypse“).

Same Same, But Different

Whoever can tell me the origin of this potentially racist phrase, which seems to permeate all manner of t-shirts and *wink wink* ladyboys on the street, I will send you $1.  I have spent the better part of my time here trying to figure out why everyone says it, and what it is actually supposed to mean.  Although, today, I saw something that might qualify as an example of “Same same, but different.”

Don't worry folks, it's got multi-vitamins.

Adjustments

I know we have 5 more days in Asia and then a trip to Guatemala, but I can’t help but start to reflect about our journey.  You know me.  I’ve been wanting to reflect for a month already…

I’ve adjusted to so much about life in Asia and am sad to leave parts of it behind.  I love soup and really spicy foods at any time of the day, all served to you on the side of the road while you sit in very tiny plastic furniture (we would call this kiddie furniture in America).  I like the adventure of not knowing exactly what I’m eating because I ordered only by pointing and guessing.  I like chopsticks.  I like chaotic, loud outdoor markets.  I have to say, I am not even bothered by carrying my own toilet paper or squat toilets.  I think it’s cool that a motorcycle can be your taxi and that there are geckos crawling up the walls of Brad’s building.  I’m not really phased by whole dead chickens or pigs hanging up in the markets anymore (I’m not ready to cook one, but at least I can look!). 

One of the many interesting modes of transportation

When we left on this trip, I knew there would be some things I would adjust to and some things that would be challenging.  This sounds trivial, but I left saying that I wasn’t going to highlight my hair during the time gone…unnecessary expense and who really cares, right?  Well, I discovered that I DO!  I couldn’t make it longer than 3 months without highlights (which is actually a freakin long time.).  Just yesterday, I gave in in Thailand and went to a salon recommended by the ISB Maven Brenda.  And, I am SO happy about that decision. 

I think I can adjust to a new culture and to being on the go as a traveller, but once we settle in somewhere (like here in Bangkok), I want things that feel like home…good coffee, clothes I like, hair that isn’t an insane, frizzy mess, internet, and diet coke (I gave up on Diet Dr. Pepper months ago). 

I guess everyone has different lines of comfort- what they can adjust to in a new culture and what feels uncomfortable.  I think for me, I can pretty much adjust to anything…but, after a certain amount of time, I have to feel like me- what I look like and what I wear does factor into that. 

So, don’t expect me to return to America with brown hair or in backpacker cargo.

-emily

Chiang Mai- Unexpected Bliss

When Rob and I left Bangkok to visit Chiang Mai, we really weren’t that excited.  As Brad said later, “It seemed like you didn’t really know why you were going.”  Everyone told us that we just couldn’t miss it, so we found a cheap bus and headed up there…not convinced we’d love it like everyone else.  Afterall, the Lonely Planet pretty much just listed a bunch of Wats there.

We ended up having an absolute wonderful 3 days there.  Rob put it well when he labeled it “the first manageable Asian city we’ve visited.”  Now, don’t get me wrong.  We love cities.  The sheer sprawl of Saigon didn’t phases us.  But, it was nice to be somewhere that by day three we could navigate without a map.  We had our coffee lady, our noodle guy, and our favorite bar by the end.

Renting bikes and riding across the city was a highlight. We rode for about 8 hours and even visited Chiang Mai University (CMU). We couldn't resist hitting up the bookstore in search of CMU gear.

An interesting bike ride discovery.

The aforementioned noodles from our favorite stand. Rob has unequivocally delcaired this to be the best pad thai he has ever had.

It was interesting to notice how many images of Buddha are inside just one wat. Notice how our feet are facing away from Buddha- we learned that the feet are considered the dirtiest part of the body, so it is disrespectful to face them toward Budha.

One of the most interesting Buddhas at Doi Suthep, a temple that is actually on a hilltop outside the city.

This huge Buddha didn't even make the map! There's that many here!

So, lesson learned?  If people who have been living in a country for years (like Brad and Brenda “the maven”) and they tell you to visit a city, just go.  Even if you don’t know why.

In Defense of Mandatory Service

Among modernized countries in the world, America has one major difference: conscription.  While we’ve had periods of the draft in our history, we do not have any rules that require military service for our citizens for any period of time. 

Countries that require military conscription of their citizen. Green – no armed forces. Blue – No conscription. Yellow – A plan to abolish conscription in 3 years. Red – conscription. Gray – unknown (can’t we just call Jordan and ask them?)

This is generally an exception, and not the rule.  In countries such as Sweden, Italy, Israel, Brazil, Mexico, Madagascar, Mongolia, Russia, and China every man (and in some cases, woman) is required to serve at least one year of military service to their country.  (Imagine the consciencious objectors we’d have if we attempted to instate this policy in the USA…)

 

Thailand, on the other hand, takes a different approach.  While they have an enforced conscription policy, they also require men to enter into Buddhist monasteries for at least one-year.  Every male citizen of Thailand must learn to fight for his country, and to live according to the peaceful, non-violent teachings of Buddha.

Think of the ramifications of a policy like that.  Learning and practicing both the positives and negatives of violence.  Learning and practicing alternative methods of conflict resolution.  In essence, a choice of how to live your life: militantly or in peace.

What is even more striking is the choice that most Thais seem to have made.  They seem to have chosen peace.  Drivers let you cross the street before it’s your turn.  McDonald’s workers bow to you when you walk in the door.  Taxi drivers who don’t want to take you to Nonthaburi Pier (because it’s just too far away in really bad traffic), apologize and bow their heads when delivering the news.  Even the line at Immigration is civil and kind.  “You can overstay your visa by a few days,” the woman told us today.  “We will charge you only a small fine.”

It’s amazing to me that Thailand offers this choice.  I’m not suggesting America does the same; a year in the service of religion isn’t my cup of tea.  But, I do respect the choices made here, the pleasant lifestyle of most Thais, and the conscious effort made by the government to educate their populace in both styles of living.

THIS was a Vacation

Khun Uncle Brad has been a Railay Beach devotee ever since moving to Thailand four years ago.  Lucky for us, he’s been talking about taking us there since we were getting frostbite way back in Mongolia.  Finally, the day arrived and Uncle “There’s No Such Thing As a Bad Massage” Brad took us on an Air Asia flight to heaven.  It certainly qualifies as our one and only bonafide vacation while we’ve been away, and it was fantastic.  Special thanks to Brad for taking a personal day, the manager of Sand Sea Resort for his incredible VIP gifts (ask us), and the guy who ran the BBQ pit at YaYa Restaurant (your red snapper was divine.)

Railay Beach: this combination bodega and massage parlor says it all.

Khun Uncle Brad looking for a massage parlor at 12:13am. (That's really what's going on in this photo.)

When he challenged her to a Muay Thai fight, this guy didn't know what he had coming. She knocked him out in three.

I mean...

I mean...

Homo Unclus Bradius in his natural habitat.

A quote from a poem by Marie Howe: "It was like that, and after that it was just like that, only all the time."

The next evening's sunset

Rob, Emily and Brad on the beach at sunset.

Our hotel picked us up at the airport, and we played with the sign.

Guess which drink we ordered.

What is a Wat?

On this trip, we’ve been through almost ten different countries, spanning just as many languages and styles of food.  We’ve seen cars driving on the left, and cars driving on the right.  We’ve been under the indirect rule of kings, prime ministers, presidents, and chairmen.  And we’ve learned to say “Hello,” “Thank you,” and “Turn left please” in about six different languages.

But, more striking than any of those things has been something far more controversial: religion.  From the Catholics in Italy, to the Orthodox in Russia, from the total abolishment of religion in China (you have to be an atheist to be a member of the ruling Communist Party) to the Hindu-Buddhist fusion of SE Asia, the world is teeming with religions, all of them on display for all the world to see. 

Let me not mislead you: it’s no different than the predominance of churchs in America.  There’s a church every couple blocks.  But, in SE Asia, specifically in Bangkok, the Buddhist temples are not tourist sites, they are THE tourist sites.  Many a Lonely Planet highlights these Temples, or wats, as must-see places in Bangkok and greater Thailand. 

And just as basillicas and duomos were the lieu-saint-du-jour in Italy, the wats dominate the Bangkok tourist scene.  Built hundreds of years ago, these temples house any manner of Buddha statues, shrines, and places of prayer and worship.  They are free for Thais, but foreigners have to pay an entrance fee.  Some common acts of worship include releasing caged birds, burning incense, and making donations to the Temple (thought of as direct donations to Buddha himself). 

The pictures below are from Wat Arun, which sits on the far side of the river overlooking the city.  Unfortunately, we visited on a terribly cloudy day last week, so Wikipedia will have to suffice for pictures of the actual structure.  Next week, we head to Chiang Mai, where the wats number into the hundreds.

Who has the job of picking which silhouettes to model the rules for attire at Wat Arun? This is at a Temple, people. A TEMPLE.

The slums from the view from the top of Wat Arun, one of Thailand's most popular sites. Unlike America, Asia hides very little from public view.

One hundred steps straight up. Honestly. Like a few degrees off of vertical.

Depictions of Buddha and his guardians (potentially just Buddha in another form) encircle the entire Wat. Literally hundreds of these 1 meter statues.

If this were Venice, an archway like this would be labeled, storied, and outfitted as a tourist site. In Bangkok, it's storage space.

An outdoor dried fish market. Really cheap delicacies (even though I don't find them so delicate).